Shoutout to my good friend Robyn whose blog post from last year helped to inspire this post. You can check it out here.
Lasting friendships are one of life’s real prizes, however to achieve this it is not an easy feat. I am very thankful to consider myself blessed with lasting friendships with family and friends. I pray these relationships only grow and deepen. However along life’s journey, inevitably there are always some friendships that just simply do not stand the test of time. There’s that saying; ‘some people come into your life for a reason, some a season and some a lifetime.’ I very much agree with this saying and strongly believe that in fact it is a good thing that all relationships are different and that each come with their own lessons and blessings. In fact, through certain friendships coming to an end, it has made me cherish the relationships I have with loved ones even more.
I do not have a magic formula of how to be a real and true friend. Every day I learn more about this as I’m sure we all do. What I do know is that if we want to keep our friendships, we must all try our best to be good friends.
A true friend loves you even when you are not loveable. Like any human, I have had these times. The gratitude I feel to the ones who have stuck by me is immeasurable. On the flip side, there have been dear ones in my life who have gone through rocky times. I am not a saint. It is not easy to be there for someone when they are being difficult. But when you love that person, and know that person has a good heart, that is what keeps you from giving up on them.
In today’s day and age where everybody is so crazy busy with their partners, families, work, side hustle etc., it gets increasingly difficult to set aside time to catch up with friends, talk less of meeting up with them. What I’ve started doing is to set aside time in my diary to holler at my friends, and set aside time to meet up as well. I’m very thankful for the life I have because I have loved ones in all different places, but of course it makes it that much more difficult to see them. But like everything else, if you plan, it most certainly can be done. (Shoutout to all the peeps that came to The Bourne as well because I knew for a lot of you, it’s wasn’t exactly around the corner. I do appreciate you!!)
It can be scary being in a friendship and letting that person see the real and true you. When I was younger, I felt I had to adapt a lot to suit certain people. Even though there are situations where I still do just that to this day (work mode Abbi and turn up Abbi are literally polar opposites!) when it comes to friendships, if you do not like the person I really am, there really is not much more we can do here honey. Getting to be let in into people’s lives is such a privilege, because not everyone gets that opportunity.
It’s our own responsibilities to put the work in to keep our friendships strong. May we never take them for granted!
Finishing off, I asked 9 friends of mine, what makes someone a real and true friend and these were their answers along with my own:
- ‘A true friend is ultimately a person that you feel has a positive purpose in your life’.
- ‘A true friend cares about your wellbeing and is always there to support you, whether by giving constructive advice or by cheering you up. A true friend makes time for you and understands the person that you are’.
- ‘Someone who is there for you when you need them, even when it’s difficult to be there’.
- ‘A true friend is someone who understands you in your entirety, they know your flaws but love you in spite of them. A true friend is someone who is committed to you and your life. A true friend is not afraid to offend you by telling you the truth even when it hurts’.
- ‘Trust. Loyalty. Honesty. Laughter. Reliability’.
- ‘Loyalty and someone who accepts you even when you’re going through changes, someone who just loves you regardless of the circumstances’.
- ‘Friendship is taking an interest in what’s going on in my life’.
- ‘Friends are the family we choose. Great friendships are non-judgemental and are founded on unconditional love for one another’.
- ‘A true friend loves you for who you really are, not who they want you to be and always has your best interests at heart’.
- A true friend is someone that will be there for you through the good and the bad and will always tell you the truth’.
Please comment your thoughts or if you have any points you want to add to the list! xXx