This blog post was written six months ago but whilst attempting to publish it, I managed to break my blog! I battled with ‘the white screen of death’ (yes that is an actual thing) for a few months until I realised I was getting nowhere and reached out for help. Thankfully the issues were resolved and ‘the white screen of death’ is no more! Now that I’ve been 30 for almost 6 months, I know God was listening intently to my 29 year old self because I am so excited about discovering and chasing new dreams this decade!… But that’s for another post. Enjoy the musings of my pre-30 year old self below! I really enjoyed the writing the piece because it was so cathartic, so I’ve decided to publish it still.
I’m turning 30 in exactly one month today and I honestly feel amazing about it! (Apart from COVID-19 locking off my birthday plans but hey ho.) Truthfully, that’s not always how I’ve felt. I thought turning 30 meant I would be thought of as ‘old’ (I’m ashamed to say 16-year-old me used to hear the age 30 and think OAP… the words young and dumb come to mind) when inside I still feel like I’m in my early twenties. Society doesn’t help because men are deemed to get better with age, like fine wine. On the other hand, women are said to age like a glass of milk… whoever coined that phrase needs a dropkick in the throat.
Statistically, my twenties were different from most. I got married when I was 23 and had two kids by the time I was 28. My husband and children are, without a doubt, my greatest blessings ever! A lot of friends and family have said over the years they wish they could be in the same position. Even though I feel incredibly fortunate and would not change a thing, I feel as though I am entering my 30s with not as much to look forward to as most of my peers. This is not a woe is me post. Just me being real about how I’m feeling. We all have different thoughts we struggle with. On the flip side, I’ve had numerous heart to hearts with girlfriends about how frustrated they are about having this strict timeline to get married and have babies, when those are things we have little control over. It’s hard for us women out here yo!
Truth is, regardless of our situation, we can choose to look at the positives and make light of any negatives. I am so immensely grateful to be seeing in this decade full stop because that is not the case for everyone. My twenties have given me countless memories that I will cherish forever. I am also very proud of everything I have achieved thus far. Even though I may think I have done all the big exciting things, a decade ago I did not think my life would be the way it is currently so a decade from now I imagine there are a lot more surprises in store and that makes me crazy excited!
People say your twenties are about finding yourself and now that I am coming out of that decade I can totally see why. I made mistakes, awful decisions, experienced heartbreak, good times, bad times, the best times! Everything from this decade has made me a stronger, better version of myself and more towards the person I want to be. From speaking to women who are in their thirties and beyond, they all said they fell in love with themselves more in their thirties because they felt more confident, wiser and just stopped sweating the small stuff. I already stopped concerning myself with people’s opinions of me and set boundaries for myself unlike when I was younger. Oh and as for negativity, I dodge that ish matrix style!
Everything we go through forms part of our own individual story. Everything happens for a reason. It is life’s way of leading us on the right path to where we are supposed to be. Understanding this has brought me a peace that my younger self, who used to worry so much, just did not have. Foolishly I used to believe that if I gave myself props for anything that I was being boastful. One of the best things I’ve learnt is being kind to yourself. Self-love is the best thing for your self-esteem! I don’t have to wait for people to recognise my positive attributes, they may never do, and that’s okay because I recognise all the great qualities that I have, as well as the not so great, which is okay because we are all a work in progress.
So bring on the next decade! I’m excited to see what it has in store…
How have you felt when entering a new decade? Why did you have those feelings? Did your find your twenties to be a decade of finding yourself? Did you learn ay valuable lessons? Are you loving being in your thirties? I would love to hear your experiences too!